A sparrow's journey through this crazy, beautiful life...

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Girl Inside

The Girl Inside
16 x 20 Cradled Wood Panel

This painting started with the usual collage papers, but then I wrote out the poem "Hope" by Emily Dickinson. I found it quite interesting that this is where my bird ended up showing through... Hope ("the Thing with feathers") is whispering in the girl's ear. At first, when I finished her, I was a bit uneasy about her... wondering if she was "acceptable". But, you know, it doesn't matter if she's acceptable, she's still part of my story and part of my process of discovering myself and my art.

I have a video below and you will see that I made this bird with a handmade screen. I took an awesome class with Lisa Patencio on making your own screens the easy way and with inexpensive materials over at The Trodden Path. I actually didn't intend for the bird to show through in the end and painted over it. Then, I tried to wipe back to it and wiped too much away. So I just lined the screen up again and reemphasized it. I'm so excited about my screens... but I'm also overwhelmed at the possibilities  I can't decide what to make screens of because there are just so many choices.

This girl in many ways represents the little girl I once was and the little girl that's still inside of me now. An awkward girl who feels ugly and unlovable .. but thankfully, Hope whispers in her ear, back then and today still. I just have to listen for His still, small voice.



Saturday, March 2, 2013

Sarah

Sarah
16 x 20 cradled wood panel
This painting is way overworked. I had originally painted her face with a palette knife and she had a vulnerable and almost fearful expression. Like she was afraid to show her vulnerability. I decided that I didn't like the contrast of the palette knife face with the brush stroke hair so I repainted her face with a brush. In the process, she lost that expression. Now her expression is much more sad, reserved, thoughtful. As I thought about this change, I realized how this could represent me so thoroughly. I tend to hide my vulnerability and fear being wounded by exposing it.So I cover it up, hide it with fake self assuredness, but end up sad and reserved. This brings me back to my word for the year - Restore. I'm working to restore my vulnerability and authenticity. Trying to fight through the fear to live life as who I really am... to live life whole.

Linking this up with Sunday Sketches!