The Girl Inside

The Girl Inside
16 x 20 Cradled Wood Panel

This painting started with the usual collage papers, but then I wrote out the poem "Hope" by Emily Dickinson. I found it quite interesting that this is where my bird ended up showing through... Hope ("the Thing with feathers") is whispering in the girl's ear. At first, when I finished her, I was a bit uneasy about her... wondering if she was "acceptable". But, you know, it doesn't matter if she's acceptable, she's still part of my story and part of my process of discovering myself and my art.

I have a video below and you will see that I made this bird with a handmade screen. I took an awesome class with Lisa Patencio on making your own screens the easy way and with inexpensive materials over at The Trodden Path. I actually didn't intend for the bird to show through in the end and painted over it. Then, I tried to wipe back to it and wiped too much away. So I just lined the screen up again and reemphasized it. I'm so excited about my screens... but I'm also overwhelmed at the possibilities  I can't decide what to make screens of because there are just so many choices.

This girl in many ways represents the little girl I once was and the little girl that's still inside of me now. An awkward girl who feels ugly and unlovable .. but thankfully, Hope whispers in her ear, back then and today still. I just have to listen for His still, small voice.

Delight

Sarah

Sarah
16 x 20 cradled wood panel

This painting is way overworked. I had originally painted her face with a palette knife and she had a vulnerable and almost fearful expression. Like she was afraid to show her vulnerability. I decided that I didn't like the contrast of the palette knife face with the brush stroke hair so I repainted her face with a brush. In the process, she lost that expression. Now her expression is much more sad, reserved, thoughtful. As I thought about this change, I realized how this could represent me so thoroughly. I tend to hide my vulnerability and fear being wounded by exposing it.So I cover it up, hide it with fake self assuredness, but end up sad and reserved. This brings me back to my word for the year - Restore. I'm working to restore my vulnerability and authenticity. Trying to fight through the fear to live life as who I really am... to live life whole.

Linking this up with Sunday Sketches!

Janie

Kooky Girl

New painting using a palette knife. This one seemed a little oddball to me. :) I do love her though. I have a video for this one, hope you enjoy!

Also, I have new prints available in my Shop!

Meditation

Meditation
16 x 20 on Cradled Wood Panel

I read a post over on Journal Girl's blog about her chronic illness. It's a good summary of what life is like for those of us with invisible, chronic illnesses and a very accurate description for myself. Mine is fibromyalgia and I was officially diagnosed in 2006.

When I was diagnosed with fibro, my life changed so drastically that it's difficult to remember or even believe that I had such an active life at one time. At this point, I'm still able to work outside the home full time, but that and the doctor's office are about the only places I go. I can't even make it to church regularly and it's right across the street. My husband does all the grocery shopping. I can't make plans because I almost always have to cancel because I'm sick. I'm pretty good at faking it outwardly. "I'm fine how are you?" (said with a big smile)

I've lost so much because if it and sometimes I wonder if I will always be bouncing around that whole grieving cycle. I guess I could spend tons of  time listing off all of the negative, but, you know, I've gained some things because of it too. My relationships have deepened. I don't have the time or patience for superficial. I go straight for the heart... we get right to the good stuff because there's just not time for anything else. I see people in a completely different light. Their struggles and hopes and dreams.

Art.... ART!!!!! I've discovered art! Had I been out being busy, I never would have taken the time for this. The thing with art is that when I am painting, the whole world around me melts away. All of my energy and concentration is poured into it. My grief and pain is poured into it. For that brief time when I am creating... I don't feel it... I don't feel the pain. Art has brought healing and relief.

My walk with God. That has changed and deepened. Sometimes I have felt abandoned and alone... but the truth is I never have been. He's given me new eyes to see things I never noticed before. Eyes to see the suffering around me... so that I can pray... so that I can reach out... open my heart. (Well, that heart opening thing is a whole other story for another day.) Within the confines of this illness, he has given me wings... I'm just still figuring out how to use them.

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Art Print Giveaway Winner

***The winner is Rachel Bradley Harrison!!!***

I have already contacted Rachel and she will be receiving a 12 x 18 print of my painting "Unknown". Congratulations Rachel!

I wanted to thank everyone for playing and for voting. I will be putting your top three choices (Unknown, Transparent, and Scarlet) in my shop. More info to come later.

I've been painting up a storm this weekend. Recently, I added these quirky bird originals to my shop:

Hope you all have a great week ahead!

Affirmation Cards

I've been wanting to add "Affirmation Cards" to my line-up, but I have a hard time with the words sometimes. My daughter, however, does not. :) She wrote the wording for these and I did the art (ATC size, 3.5 x 2.5 inches). I'll have a few more to share later, but here are some for now.

**Please check out my giveaway!

Dancing Queen Series

This series came about after I made Dancing Queen. Every time I look at her, that song gets stuck in my head and it was there as soon as I finished her face as well. After I finished, I realized I wanted to spend more time with her, so I decided to make a series for the first time. I have really, really enjoyed this and may try it with a couple of my other paintings. There is a video below of me creating the final painting.

These make faces 8 - 12 for me for the 29 Faces Challenge. I'm quite behind and hopeful that I can complete this! You can learn more about the 29 Faces Challenge HERE. You can find the list of other participants to visit HERE.

**Please check out my giveaway!

Dancing Queen Original	Dancing Queen 2, Face #8
Dancing Queen 3, Face #9	Dancing Queen 4, Face #10
Dancing Queen 6, Face #12	Dancing Queen 5, Face #11

Art Print Giveaway

***This Giveaway is now closed. The winner is Rachel Bradley Harrison!!!***

I'm giving away a high quality print of my artwork! All you have to do to enter is leave me a comment, here on this blog post, with your top three image choices from below. The names are listed below each picture. Be sure to leave a way for me to contact you. I'm going to venture into selling prints. In order to do that, I need to whittle my choices down to 3 or 4, so I need your input. The winner will be chosen using random.org and they will receive their #1 print choice in a size up to 12 x 18 inches!

The deadline to enter is Sunday, February 24th, 2013 at 6 p.m. US Central Time Zone. There's a clock on the right sidebar. :)

Transparent	Rosario
Unknown	Dancing Queen
Abira	Red
Prayer	Macaria
Scarlet	Dreamer
Resolve	Nowhere But Up

Much-Afraid

Much-Afraid & Restore

I have some great news to share... my first show! I have been accepted to display my art at our local coffee shop off the square, Jackson Avenue Coffee! My art will fill a 50 foot wall for the entire month of April. Needless to say, I'm thrilled and so thankful!

Over the last few years, I have been noticing people choosing a word to focus on for the year instead of a resolution. This year I decided I'm going to do that. My word for the year is "Restore". There are many facets to this and I plan to share them throughout the year. If I don't share, I won't follow through... I know myself too well. I've been working through some very difficult things over the past few years and I feel like I'm nearing the end of this season in life. I've struggled with depression, anxiety and PTSD for most of my life and the healing has been flooding in. I feel like God is and has been "restoring the years the locusts have eaten".

I wanted to give a little more information on this painting than I did in my recent post because it ties in with my word. This piece is called "Much-Afraid" after the main character in the book "Hind's Feet on High Places". I read this about 12 years ago and it impacted me deeply. Well, recently, my dog got a hold of my book and chewed it to bits. He didn't eat the whole thing though, so I collected what was left to use as collage in my backgrounds. This piece  is collaged completely with left-over book pages. I realized as I was re-using my book, I was also restoring it to life in a way. This old dogeared, highlighted copy of a book that deeply impacted me and breathed life into my hurting soul, was coming back to life in my art. It's not wasting away on a book shelf.

So, restore... we'll see how it winds its way through my life this year... I think it will be a good one. :)

29 Faces Day 7

Face #6

Here are a couple more faces, I am definitely going to have to try to work ahead on the weekends... Not enough time on work nights. :) These will eventually be made into magnets. They are approximately 3 1/2 inches in diameter and still need to be painted.

Face #7

You can learn more about the 29 Faces Challenge HERE. You can find the list of other participants to visit HERE.